Issue #8

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Disaster after boyfriend agrees bum looks big in that

The eight-month relationship between Mr Terry Blame and Ms Jacinta Rowe remains in a critical condition following Mr Blame’s Frank response on Saturday evening to Ms Rowe’s question “Does my bum look big in this”?

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Humpback Whale saved from Acland St Massage Clinic

The dramatic rescue of a whale on Acland St yesterday has the local community demanding the cessation of any sort of whale music out front of the whale of a time massage clinic.

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Research discovers BUGGER ALL

A four-year study examining the link between sugar, spice and all things nice by scientists at the Sir Les Patterson University has found bugger all.

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Inside this issue

Bird flu over the cuckoo’s nest

Man takes 2 hours to watch 60 Minutes

Crack found on gay reveller

“Rivkin caught insider trading inside with insider,” reveals insider.

Brain cell found in head of call centre drone.

Satan to run light entertainment at Channel 9

Man denies being wino “I’m a why yes!”

Graphic designer wears black to work

Minogue a little behind Nauru/Niue FTA rocks SE Asia!

Local writer admits to fear and self-loathing

Olympic motto changed from “Higher, Stronger, Faster” to “Marijuana, Steroids, Speed”

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