Issue #9

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Classifieds

Moist-skinned cricket umpires to judge beauty contest in outer eastern suburbs.

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Village Roadshow patents new lowest common denominator

As first reported in the Scientific Journal of Mediocre Entertainment (SJOME), researchers at the Village Roadshow Low Ambition Entertainment Institute (VRLAEI) have patented a new lowest common denominator.

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Christ’s life-insurance claim rejected

“He died. Then he didn’t. Then he died, but lives in heaven. Technically he’s still alive so we aren’t paying,” claim AMP assessors.

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Inside this issue

Dyslexic Man Walks into Bra and Asks for Drink

Consumer Becomes Prosumer

Beach Bag Lost at St Kilda Pier, Husband Still Fretting

Snuff Film Starlet Mysteriously Not at Press Conference

Shock! Man Loses Money on Pokies!

Greenie Midget Chains Self to Bonsai Tree

“It’s Drivin’ Me Nuts” Claims Man with Wheel in Pants

Baz Luhrmann Craps on About Aesthetics Ad Nauseam

Ad Man Stunned at Rewards for Constantly Underestimating Intelligence of Public.

PM’s Penis Found in Brisbane Truck Stop: “I Didn’t Notice It Missing,” Reveals Janet

Dermatologist Advises No Rash Moves

Game of Musical electric chairs ends predictably

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